Before Coffee: 2/25/08 No Fun Mondays
Yeah, today is likely to suck. Gotta go to my wife’s grandfather’s funeral around noon. I really hate to see her do down and hurt. It sucks.
I’ve rambled about death before, and maybe I’ve successfully numbed death away by using my imagination… just like many organized religions do! I kinda pretend like the people you loved or cared for, or who cared for you, now they’re like all encompasing energy or spirits that can zip around and help their loved ones by pulling strings and looking out for them. Or people who have done you wrong, they can have a chance to level their karma by doing good to those who they wronged, before they can be at peace or something. They give you little winks and nods and high fives from the great beyond. Beings of the All-Cosmic, now have the answers to all of the meaning of life! They have acquired what Jack Kirby said was the anti-life equation! It’s in all of us!
See? that’s totally more awesome than thinking we’re just “food for worms” like Ben Franklin believed.
When death comes around, it makes me happy to be alive. I thought about that while forcing myself to go longer on the elliptical machine today, and lifting more weight. It hurt… I thought I couldn’t go on. Your lazy brain says stop, relax… but the other part yells… you’re breathing! You’re alive!
Reading over Hugh McLeod’s latests posts from Texas, he mentions how he feels extremely fortunate. He’s got some rad pictures of Big Bend, I guess where “No Country For Old Men” was filmed. When I saw it in the theater I knew it would win awards. In that film, like Hugh’s photos, the cinematography was amazing. The feeling of, as Hugh says.. “being away from all the bullshit” - So open, and grand. We’re all just insignificant blips of life. Enjoy it while you can, surround yourself with people and places you love, and do something you love to do.
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Sorry to hear about your grandfather, losing someone you care about is never easy. My father passed away in May from colon cancer… that was the single hardest thing I have ever been through, not just for myself, but watching my mom, sisters and relative fall completely apart in the hospital the night he passed. I was powerless to help him or ease my family’s pain.
I was really down about life and dying for a few months after, but recently I’ve changed my thoughts on death. Since it’s inevitable, the time you have now is precious. Use it to accomplish your goals and be happy in whatever you’re doing. Don’t like something? Try to change it. Tomorrow is always an opportunity to change your life for the better.
On the bright side, all the things that annoy you, bring you down and complicate your life will be a thing of the past once the mortal coil is shed. It’s like a (permanent) vacation from life’s crap. Sure, you’ll miss out on things but should we carry on in some other form, your lifetime of good memories will never leave your side.