Carpenter Jesus
It turns out, Carpenter Jesus wasn’t Carpenter Jesus after all. It was a statue of St. Joseph that sat in the window or our home when we first came to look at it. Peering through the window, it was the first thing I noticed. I laughed and said, “Check it out, Carpenter Jesus is trapped inside.” - He looked sad as he gazed out at the street.
Looking back on buying our house, it was kind of a godsend– we needed a bigger place, but never imagined we’d actually close on this house. — Sure, it’s old, built like in the late 1800s, but it’s a solid brick house, and as the previous owner told me when he handed over the keys, “It’s got good bones.” — and it surely does. For the entire year we’ve lived here, Carpenter Jesus sat in the window where he always sat– my wife and I just on our own considered it good luck of some kind.
About 2 months ago now, give or take, one of the cats decided to fuck up Carpenter Jesus’s day and knocked his head off. We didn’t have any super glue, so he sat headless in my office while we waited. Somewhere along the line, we DID buy super glue, but sat the tube of super glue next to stuff that needed super glued, along with Carpenter Jesus there were a few kids toys, etc. We told this story at dinner when my wife’s cousins were in, and one of her cousins said, Oh, that’s a Catholic thing, for good luck in selling a house, they bury it in the yard face facing the street and it’s supposed to speed up home sales. — Well, someone had left our Jesus in the window all lonely and desperate looking to get out.
Tonight, just a few minutes ago, my wife and I were in the office and she mentioned… “Hey why don’t you super glue Carpenter Jesus head back on.” — OH! We had forgotten all about him there up on the shelf. I laughed and said, you know this probably isn’t even Jesus right, it’s likely his Dad Joseph… and my wife knew that. Then as I’m holding headless Jesus, I thought— man, ever since he went headless, we’ve had a lot of troubles paying our bills. BARELY scraping by to make ends meet here. We’ve been in some REAL danger of actually LOSING this house. (embarrassing to say) - but we’re hanging in there… SOMEHOW. I really don’t know how actually. In that regard, I feel like a complete failure– it’s something I’ve eluded to here before in the blog– that would be a GREAT headline, wouldn’t it? Comic Artist loses house. The sub-headline would probably read “WHAT A DUMBASS!”
As I glue Carpenter Jesus head back on, my wife and I joke how maybe a check will come in the mail or actual communication of some good news, or things will start turning back around again. We laugh and put Carpenter Jesus back on his rightful perch in the window to begin his work at reworking the universe.
It doesn’t matter that he’s not Carpenter Jesus, he’s our Carpenter fucking Jesus, and that is that.
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the sheer amount of blasphemy on this blog makes it worth ready in and of itself!
No, the sub-headline would read: Thank YOU PLATINUM!!!
well least it’s not “Buddy Jesus” from dogma I suppose. Good luck with the new projects and here’s to hoping no more bad luck. [drinks a guinness}
[...] I had posted about Carpenter Jesus last night– joking that maybe since we fixed this good luck charm, we could get good financial news or a check would come in the mail. In fact, we just realized a check DID come in the mail today– it was from Wowio… not much, but indeed a check came! — Then I was payed for something else via paypal today— So money DID in fact come in [...]