MIND DUMP 6/2/09: Be Awesome.

I’m still alive! As you probably know if you frequent this blog, I don’t post here as much as I used to. I did the daily blogging thing for almost 10 years! Crazy. Now I spend a lot of my social media time at my twitter.com/djcoffman account and over on facebook, so if you’re ever looking to see what I’m up to or thinking at a moment’s notice, that’s probably the best bet. Every now and then though I like to pop on here and unload some thoughts that can’t possibly fit into micro status updates. Here goes the MIND DUMP!

LIFE: Life is pretty awesome. I’m just letting the universe guide me wherever at this point. There have been so many weird things in my life this year that I can’t explain. So much unexpected, some good, some bad… but in the end it’s lead to a much more awesome life for me.

Wow! Conan O’Brien hosting the Tonight Show. I had chills. I remember watching him when he had a night to night contract (as the legend goes)- Hearing Andy Richter introduce the Tonight Show, and the first musical guest is my all time favorite band Pearl Jam, and they debuted a new song there. Did I experience a bit of ShangRa-La? Seriously, it feels like my generation has finally stepped up to take the reigns of our whole society for the next 20-30 years and that feels awesome! – And to think in a round about way, I’m sort of connected to COnan O’Brien history with that shirt I created for AndyRok, which he then gave to Conan off his back. Sweet! — Anyways, watching Conan step up, was like watching an old friend you knew get the greatest job on the planet and know they deserve it. I actually want to watch TV at 11:30 now!

Work- I’ve been doing a ton of stuff behind the scenes. Most of it is writing and designing stuff for the Flobots, both the band and working on some upcoming New Media stuff, and with their non-profit Flobots.org. We’re doing a bit of a relaunch on the FightWithTools.org site in July, and I’ll also be flying out to Denver around June 18th to spend some days working on some things in person. All of that is pretty vague, I know, but it will become much clearer in the fall.

Comics! - Yeah, I know you haven’t seen much of that from me in the past couple months. But I’m still working on the Flobots comic slowly but surely and my main goal is to have a nice little Graphic Novel out at some point. I have two other projects I want to be working on more, one is a fantasy type (sword and sorcery)  story for Jason Embury, and the other one has been slowly forming in my head since January and I think it’s finally come together as something I’d like to put some time into. I don’t want to jinx it though, so mums the word on what it’s about for now.

Yirmumah- I launched the new Yirmumah site “anti-social network” at http://yirmumah.ning.com a bit ago. I planned on doing more live drawing and exploring my darker humor side there, but I really haven’t had as much time to work on it as I’d like. I’ve been terrible at budgeting schedules lately, but I haven’t given up on this. I think it’s a matter of coming up with some form that pleases me the most. Possibly short stories like the original Yirm were, instead of just throw away gags. Although the throw away pop-culture gags always call to me as well.

More COMIC thoughts – & Pittsburgh Comic and COllectible Show: Was at a one day comic show this past Sunday, put on by Todd McDevitt of New Dimension Comics. I have to say it was busier and bigger than I thought it would be. Some Pittsburgh Steelers were also signing next door so that brought some traffic to the mall that day as well. I was sandwiched between two legends, Joe Jusko and Ron Frenz – huge talents. They of course have TRIPLE if not quadruple the experience and skills I have. I usually don’t feel this way, but I was feeling a little inferior looking at my “cartoony” work and kinda feeling DOWN about the whole “comic book industry” experience. Honestly I’ve really lost some bit of passion I once had. Maybe it’s because I’ve not only looked behind the curtain, but I’ve roamed around behind that curtain and what I’ve seen and witnessed wasn’t what I thought it would be. Most of it is just bullshit and smoke and mirrors. — But I was pleased that Joe Jusko stopped to say thanks for the copy of the Hero By Night hardcover I had sent to him a while back. I had forgot I even sent it! – He had kind words about the story and the feeling and vibe it brought back to comics for him. It was a sincere comment That reminded me that my work isn’t done… which is a whole other nut to crack.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I used to have a real sex drive for producing comics. I’d pride myself on how much I could accomplish or do in short periods of time, and keep it quality and entertaining. I wanted to be like Jack Kirby– those stories of how many pages he could draw per day always inspired me (still do!) — but I think I’ve come to the realization that I’m not that. All those years of pumping out daily comics while also drawing monthly comics and side projects, it felt good when friends and colleagues would be amazed, but I look myself at where it’s gotten me and I’m not so sure if it’s the right path. I was explaining this to another friend of mine who didn’t quite understand what I was saying. I was a bit frustrated that ALL THAT WORK I did, and people only mostly remember the drama that ensued and my “character”. All that work. All those hours. And barely anyone talks about the actual COMICS. And to think that I could have, I almost WAS, one of THOSE GUYS… the guys who ruin their lives around them because of this obsession to produce. Where the only time a comic news site will report on you is when someone owes you money or there’s dirt to be dug up. The only emails I’d get would be “what’s the latest dirt!?” — I just don’t want that kind of career.

So I’ve been flying under the radar. Thinking about, and taking action on reinventing myself. Transforming into something better. And when I’m done, hopefully the work will shine and that is what I’d like people to talk about and remember.

I have a TO DO LIST post it note hanging on my desk. It only has one thing on it.

#1 – BE AWESOME.