D.J. Coffman – Sequential Artist, Thinker

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve written an extensive mind dump of a blog. Here we go… Read more

Here’s a funny story for you. So as most of my friends and fans know I’ve been kind of busy doing OTHER things besides actual comic work.  One day I saw some hub-bub about a new contest Amazon and Universal had created called “Comic Strip Superstar” - There was the usual clamoring of people saying it was a BAD idea. And quite frankly, it probably IS a bad idea, and I’m not even sure WHY I was tempted to enter it… I guess part of me wanted to see if I could pull it off under a pen name or just jam out that many strips in such a limited time like back in the day… As I began thinking about it, a FLOOD of about 100 strip /joke ideas flowed out of me onto paper or notebooks. I was jotting down scenarios and whatnot and…. god forbid… it was kind of fun!

Daily comic strips are no stranger to me… back in 1999 we self syndicated a strip called GRAVITY that we got into 50 papers… when we (McDeavitt and I) realized it was too much work for too little money at the time, we shit-canned the Gravity strip and moved on to do freelance comic book illustration stuff and TONS OF WEBCOMICS!

But something about producing a daily comic strip never leaves you. Your mind is always looking at the world in a certain way that I can’t quite describe. I’ve had this idea for a comic strip up on the shelve, The premise was very simple… it was Generation X parents all grown up, raising a new generation of kids.  Something we know a good bit about here in the Coffman household—-

Here was my master plan.  I’d enter under a pen name, which YIRMUMAH fans might recognize. I’d be silent and just see how far I could on the strip alone. Best case scenario, I’d be picked in the top ten, rip off my rubber mask and yell SURPRISE, IT’S ME AGAIN! when public voting time came. Pretty much ALL for shits and giggles and shenanigans like in the old days, because frankly, the pay wasn’t all that great. I could MAYBE get a foot in the door at syndicates and save their friggin hydes with my genius plans! I wasn’t even sure if I’d be willing to sign an actual contract this time. Maybe I’d just bow out gracefully if the deal sucked and kickstart the feature as webcomic on my own. I was basically figuring “what the hell.”

The strips came out pretty well for only having one week (from the time I decided) to get 10 daily comics done and 2 full color sunday strips. I am pretty proud of myself for accomplishing that workload especially with other “pay the bills” things going on at the time. It was sort of one of those moments in life where you step back and say… “I still got it!” I can still do this.

WORSE case scenario, it wouldn’t cut the mustard and I’d have something interesting to write about (failed attempt at shenanigans!) and a whole bunch of comics to post all at once for friends and fans. Who knows, maybe they totally suck? I know I enjoyed creating them and could totally produce a strip like that with my eyes closed thanks to the wealth of material I have in my real life.

What happened… I entered the contest and forgot that I had even entered. I was reminded a few weeks ago when I got an email saying I had progressed to the top 250 strips of 5000 submissions.  Holy crap… it just might work! BUT ALAS… this week the new top 50 list was put out and XYZs wasn’t on it. For whatever reason , the editors at Universal passed on it.

Now I can show the strips to YOU. I don’t know if I’ll pursue this project further unless there was huge support for the concept or maybe a better offer sent my way. Maybe it’s complete garbage? I do know I had a lot of fun kicking the “daily” machine tires again though. It fueled the desire to possibly do SOMETHING daily again.

(You will need to click these thumbnails to open them up full size to read)

CLICK TO OPEN SAMPLE SHEET 2 BELOW

Click to enlarge strips below

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Long time no speak! – As always if you’re looking for regular updates on my life, follow me on twitter. http://twitter.com/djcoffman

I have a lot going on and a lot on my mind. Here we go!….

CROSSROADS: This year feels like a giant crossroads in my life, both personal and professional. On the professional side, I’ve sort of divorced myself from the comic book industry a bit. Maybe we will remarry some day, or get together for lunch, but the events of last year leading into a really bad winter for me left me kinda disillusioned about the whole process. Sure, there are the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” crowd who email me (and thanks for your words), but I guess the truth is, I spent a good amount of time pouring my soul and LOVE of comics into a thing (Hero By Night) which is now pretty much locked away in corporate land. Over time, that feeling has really taken the wind out of my sails and I’ve felt a bit defeated and depressed.- But yes, that whole ordeal really took my “love” of comics away. For a long time, this made me sad, but I’m over it.

I nearly lost EVERYTHING.

I still have the desire and love to draw comics. I just don’t want to play “the game” right now.

My work for the Flobots has been… well, amazing. If I laid out the sheer amount of work I’ve done (web design, graphics, layout, new media planning, etc) I can’t believe it’s just ME doing it. And in the time I’m doing it in as well! I don’t stop to think about it often, but it is pretty darn amazing. And I can’t say enough how REFRESHING it is for my soul to know such GOOD people who want to change the world… and are doing so in the process. I think just knowing them and learning from their messages and purpose, I’ve actually transformed myself for the better. Little by little, whatever had poisoned my soul, has been sucked out.

FAMILY. Last but definitely not least… my family! Watching kids grow is amazing. It can be sad too sometimes.  This past six months has been a real transforming era for my inner circle, my wife and children. My wife has had her own crazy awesome transformation with Roller Derby, and watching that and supporting that has been lots of fun. I’m always a bit shocked to hear that other spouses don’t support the other gals as well. I’m fascinated by the things that I hear come out of my children’s mouths, or how fast they can pick up on things and learn. My one son watches youtube and crafts crazy origami and even has learned to play a little guitar. He’s a natural talent engine. My oldest boy is a walking history almanac, AND a walking Star Wars almanac as well.  The youngest son is CRAZY. Not sure where he’s going to land yet, but I have a feeling he’s going to be a real ladies man and charmer. He’s also a real spitfire of temper…. flaming red hair. But don’t call it “red” , he will exclaim “IT’S NOT RED, IT’S ORANGE!!!!” – I think all of my authority problems entered into him, so that’s going to be fun to deal with as he grows. At least he has ME to guide him.

VACATION! – From July 12th-July19th I’ll be on my first REAL adult vacation with the family. We’re headed down to Myrtle Beach. Gonna soak up some sun, meaning my pale cartoonist/hermit skin will likely be baked to a crisp! – But I’m REALLY looking forward to recharging my batteries and figuring out HOW to relax for a week. My wife assures me that she will show me how. I know a big part of it consists of NO WORK, and no internet. But I will be twittering from the iphone and sending photos to my Facebook profile. — This is not only the first REAL family vacation, but it’s nice that it was actually planned well in advance when there was still snow on the ground… we decided to pinch our pennies and make this happen. It’s been fun watching the boys save their money as well. My youngest son can’t believe he has 61 dollars in cash, not to mention the “credit” line they’ve been building. We’re also going to stop on the way back to spend time with some family in Raleigh, NC too. I’m looking forward to the road trip. It’s about a 10.5 hour drive. Never looked forward to one of those before. A good start!

I’m in Denver on Flobots business. Accidently spent Father’s Day here… long story! – It’s the day after Father’s day and I’m sitting in a cafe called Snooze enjoying coffee and breakfast before getting down to business at the non-profit office…

Anyways, yesterday I called my Dad for Fathers Day. No answer. He called me back later in the day drunk and crying and upset and I couldn’t really understand what was up. He’d try to tell me and then break down in drunken tears. Finally he told me that an old acquintance of his confronted him at a public bar in front of all his friends, saying his son, ME, wanted nothing to do with him and I wrote him off. Say Wha!??? — I couldnt make heads or tails of this story. Then my Dad conveyed to me that this fellow, let’s call him TONY, had told my Dad that I had published this all over the internet and published things that made them both look like asses…. SAY WHAT!?? — And that my half sister had conveyed this to Tony, who also happens to be her father…. LONG STORY… don’t ask.

Then it hit me…. this guy must have been talking about ORIGIN. The two chapters I wrote called DAD and MOM. Now, the DAD story, is a romanticized adventure of my Dad’s biker days and actually makes him into a sort of urban legend hero! If my Dad only knew how many people think he’s AWESOME, he’d of never thought I’d do anything like write him off or embarrass him. If anything, I did show the regret he feels and conveys for his first marriage and two daughters he didn’t get to know, and his deep religious views he holds inside.

Quite simply, EVERYTHING that is good in me, was instilled by my Dad. Period. Now, I don’t hide the fact with anyone, or anyone who has seen my Dad lately that he has sort of fallen off the rails, or fell off the wagon. He thinks he’s a failure in a lot of things, but really everything he sees good in how I’ve grown, and become a good father, it’s all because of him. Every single aspect of having my head on straight… him. As a father myself, that thought about my sons… that if whatever I instill in them will make them grow to be good fathers and husbands and human beings. Maybe they will do grand things… if I see that happen, no matter where I am in my life in my 60s or 70s, I know that my life was worth it, just in passing that torch.

My mother is a different story. She took her own life in 1999, died by the bottle. Downed Anti-Freeze I was told by one honest person, my sister’s husband. I didn’t know my mother that well, I’ve lived with my Dad since I was 5… but I was saddened and shocked to learn of her demise. I wondered… do I have that in me? Depression…. could I one day die by the bottlle… be so depressed I would take my own life? — Never. That chapter of ORIGIN had to be told, and I think it was romanticized as well…  only bits and pieces of stories I had heard, and I used my imagination to make it entertaining to readers too. But I that is how I dealt with my pain inside. That was my therapy. At first i was a bit embarrassed by that story… but I grew to know it was important to tell. It is a tragic tale people can learn from. I’ve learned from.

Now… on my Mothers side of the family, I have sisters and brother who don’t talk. I’ve never understood it. I’m not suprised to learn that my sister has come across that story and was greatly offended by it. Her father is in it, and it’s insinuated, as it was fact, that my mother fooled around with her father while she was a bartender in town before and during my Father’s marriage to my mother. An off again on again fling. The way I look at it now, that side of the family is just embarrassed and wants to sugar coat my mom’s death… probably because they are ashamed and embarassed by it. They tried to cover it up and not tell me the truth about it, but I ordered the death certificate that confirmed how my mother passed. Never once did that side of the family reach out to me for anything, to give me childhood photos or memories… nothing. Not that I really wanted anything at all. I have one fond memory of my mother… her playing the guitar. She seemed happy then, singing… talent shining through. She is tragic figure in my history. my origin story.

Back to my Dad…. his story has turned into a bummer as well. A man filled with regrets. But I want to reach out to him to tell him that he’s done good. I love him and I won’t judge him. And I’d surely never write him off. He is an unknowing hero in my origin story. I’d like to see him ride off into the sunset as a happy old man. He is deserving of a good end.

Everything that’s good in me, came from my father. Thanks Dad.

To my other family members who I don’t communicate with who may be offended by the origin comics… I am truly sorry. Please don’t take it personally. It is a dramatized fantasy/therapy for me. The general public does not care…. we are ALL just stories… we choose how they are written and how they will ultimately end. I hold no ill will toward any of my family on that side. It makes me sad I have sons who will likely never know their aunts or uncles… but at least they will know why some day. It’s more than I ever had given to me.

Peace from the streets of Denver!

I’m still alive! As you probably know if you frequent this blog, I don’t post here as much as I used to. I did the daily blogging thing for almost 10 years! Crazy. Now I spend a lot of my social media time at my twitter.com/djcoffman account and over on facebook, so if you’re ever looking to see what I’m up to or thinking at a moment’s notice, that’s probably the best bet. Every now and then though I like to pop on here and unload some thoughts that can’t possibly fit into micro status updates. Here goes the MIND DUMP!

LIFE: Life is pretty awesome. I’m just letting the universe guide me wherever at this point. There have been so many weird things in my life this year that I can’t explain. So much unexpected, some good, some bad… but in the end it’s lead to a much more awesome life for me.

Wow! Conan O’Brien hosting the Tonight Show. I had chills. I remember watching him when he had a night to night contract (as the legend goes)- Hearing Andy Richter introduce the Tonight Show, and the first musical guest is my all time favorite band Pearl Jam, and they debuted a new song there. Did I experience a bit of ShangRa-La? Seriously, it feels like my generation has finally stepped up to take the reigns of our whole society for the next 20-30 years and that feels awesome! – And to think in a round about way, I’m sort of connected to COnan O’Brien history with that shirt I created for AndyRok, which he then gave to Conan off his back. Sweet! — Anyways, watching Conan step up, was like watching an old friend you knew get the greatest job on the planet and know they deserve it. I actually want to watch TV at 11:30 now!

Work- I’ve been doing a ton of stuff behind the scenes. Most of it is writing and designing stuff for the Flobots, both the band and working on some upcoming New Media stuff, and with their non-profit Flobots.org. We’re doing a bit of a relaunch on the FightWithTools.org site in July, and I’ll also be flying out to Denver around June 18th to spend some days working on some things in person. All of that is pretty vague, I know, but it will become much clearer in the fall.

Comics! - Yeah, I know you haven’t seen much of that from me in the past couple months. But I’m still working on the Flobots comic slowly but surely and my main goal is to have a nice little Graphic Novel out at some point. I have two other projects I want to be working on more, one is a fantasy type (sword and sorcery)  story for Jason Embury, and the other one has been slowly forming in my head since January and I think it’s finally come together as something I’d like to put some time into. I don’t want to jinx it though, so mums the word on what it’s about for now.

Yirmumah- I launched the new Yirmumah site “anti-social network” at http://yirmumah.ning.com a bit ago. I planned on doing more live drawing and exploring my darker humor side there, but I really haven’t had as much time to work on it as I’d like. I’ve been terrible at budgeting schedules lately, but I haven’t given up on this. I think it’s a matter of coming up with some form that pleases me the most. Possibly short stories like the original Yirm were, instead of just throw away gags. Although the throw away pop-culture gags always call to me as well.

More COMIC thoughts – & Pittsburgh Comic and COllectible Show: Was at a one day comic show this past Sunday, put on by Todd McDevitt of New Dimension Comics. I have to say it was busier and bigger than I thought it would be. Some Pittsburgh Steelers were also signing next door so that brought some traffic to the mall that day as well. I was sandwiched between two legends, Joe Jusko and Ron Frenz – huge talents. They of course have TRIPLE if not quadruple the experience and skills I have. I usually don’t feel this way, but I was feeling a little inferior looking at my “cartoony” work and kinda feeling DOWN about the whole “comic book industry” experience. Honestly I’ve really lost some bit of passion I once had. Maybe it’s because I’ve not only looked behind the curtain, but I’ve roamed around behind that curtain and what I’ve seen and witnessed wasn’t what I thought it would be. Most of it is just bullshit and smoke and mirrors. — But I was pleased that Joe Jusko stopped to say thanks for the copy of the Hero By Night hardcover I had sent to him a while back. I had forgot I even sent it! – He had kind words about the story and the feeling and vibe it brought back to comics for him. It was a sincere comment That reminded me that my work isn’t done… which is a whole other nut to crack.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I used to have a real sex drive for producing comics. I’d pride myself on how much I could accomplish or do in short periods of time, and keep it quality and entertaining. I wanted to be like Jack Kirby– those stories of how many pages he could draw per day always inspired me (still do!) — but I think I’ve come to the realization that I’m not that. All those years of pumping out daily comics while also drawing monthly comics and side projects, it felt good when friends and colleagues would be amazed, but I look myself at where it’s gotten me and I’m not so sure if it’s the right path. I was explaining this to another friend of mine who didn’t quite understand what I was saying. I was a bit frustrated that ALL THAT WORK I did, and people only mostly remember the drama that ensued and my “character”. All that work. All those hours. And barely anyone talks about the actual COMICS. And to think that I could have, I almost WAS, one of THOSE GUYS… the guys who ruin their lives around them because of this obsession to produce. Where the only time a comic news site will report on you is when someone owes you money or there’s dirt to be dug up. The only emails I’d get would be “what’s the latest dirt!?” — I just don’t want that kind of career.

So I’ve been flying under the radar. Thinking about, and taking action on reinventing myself. Transforming into something better. And when I’m done, hopefully the work will shine and that is what I’d like people to talk about and remember.

I have a TO DO LIST post it note hanging on my desk. It only has one thing on it.

#1 – BE AWESOME.

Dear Intervoid… here is a mind dump…

Work 1: Finished up work on a decent size project relating to a Vampire humor book that will be coming out in the near future, written by another webcomic superstar who I’m keeping nameless because I’ve seen no official announcements about this project. Just know that it is pretty darn hilarious. I hope my work brought a little pinch or punch to the project. Thanks again to the nameless individual for the job offer. It was pretty fun.

Work 2: I’ve begun work on a top secret project for a kind of top secret client (but not really) — See? This is why I don’t blog as much anymore because most of the things I’m working on can’t be disclosed until, THE FALL. It involves just about everything in my TOOL box. Graphic design, Photoshoppery, Illustration and crazy thinking and planning. It also involves game designing and cryptography which I’ve been brushing up on. I’m very excited about this project, it’s like nothing I’ve ever done, and it’s like nothing I’ve ever heard of being done in this way. I’ve been put in place as sort of the Dungeon Master / Editor of the entire project, so it’s going to be a lot of work, but so worth it.

Life: Life is good. Kids are healthy, wife is beautiful. Maybe too beautiful? I’m getting a little tired of guys constantly hitting on my wife, and most times she’s oblivious and doesn’t even know it’s happening until the people are somewhat stalking her. She can’t walk through the mall without cellphone keosk losers trying to get her number, or old men making comments. It’s ridiculous. Again, she’s somewhat oblivious to this fact. I usually just brush this off and laugh about it, but it’s becoming increasingly annoying and will most likely get worse as she becomes a roller derby star in her own right. Keep in mind, I am not that jealous husband type or overbearing nutjob who won’t let his wife have guy friends. But yes, I do know that I’m a very lucky nerd. i can’t really complain, but I can tell you I understand the old men who have told me having a beautiful wife can be a pain in the butt sometimes. The good far outweighs the bad in any circumstance though. Should I buy a potato sack and paper bag face mask for her to wear in public? — Come to think about it, this must be why the Taliban and old religions covered their wives from head to toe. I totally understand now guys. But honestly, that would LAME. Grow up and suck it up. I have a hot wife… WAAAAH! Somebody call the WAAAMBULANCE!

Tattooed again… We finally got our matching “love tiki” tattoos on our wrist. When you hear people say that tattoos are addicting, they aren’t lying. I find myself looking at my arm now and imagining what could be there. I’ve always had ideas, but never crossed the threshold out of fear of how it would feel or how I might look. But I’ve long passed the strange crossroads in my life where I realized I will never work a desk job or have a real “boss” type figure in my life. And I also get that feeling now like if people are going to judge you for having tattoos, well fuck em. I don’t need those types of people in my life at all… especially in business. So who knows, maybe I’ll get a whole arm done up as time progresses. A tiki theme perhaps? I saw a really awesome design with a zombie hula girl sitting around fiery pits that said “Aloha from Hell” that I really like. Perhaps a flaming ukulele?

JAILBROKED! – I finally jailbroke my iphone this past week out of sheer boredom on a Thursday night. (Derby Widow!) I wish I would have done it sooner. I can now stream live video from my phone if I wanted to. I might broadcast from “old people night” at the roller rink tonight just to show how surreal it is. Using the qik.com site seems like it might be fun for quick video blogs. The kids these days call those Vlogs now, right? – Seriously, if you have an iphone, I highly recommend jailbreaking. — From apps Apple won’t let you have, like video recording, better camera software – fun stuff like the Nintendo Emulator – Dtunes is a free music downloader, and even a FLASHLIGHT that actually goes WAY bright to light up your way. The flashlights on the appstore SUCKKKK. I’m going to mess with “winterboard” today a little… it allows you to customize the look and feel of everything on your phone I guess, basically a “theme” — it’s very fun taking this old device I pay so much money for and making it do all kinds of new tricks. Why is apple keeping this so locked up!? Dumb dumb dumb. Another reason I don’t really want to switch to Apple full time. I hear enough Mac friends of mine who have problems on compatibility of things or if they buy something like a Cintiq that plugs right into PCs they have to buy a “special” cable to hook up with. Lame. Apple is all about squeezing as much money out of the consumer as possible. But we like their toys so we pay. But bottom line, a jailbroken iphone is WAY the hell better than a locked up one. Heck, even Woz will scold you if your iphone isn’t jailbroke.

Life is good. And busy.

Workwise: I’ve doing a couple jobs on the side, freelance spot illustration type o deals. One will be published by a reputable book publisher and likely in Barnes and Noble or wherever you find books these days. After years of doing full on comic pages and deadlines and hundreds of webcomics, I feel lazy with just single spot illos, but I’m seeing it as a mini-vacation I guess. When I get these jobs wrapped this week my priorities shift again to the Flobots comic, which I have a TON of material for, and back to Will Draws which I’m beyond behind on, but I do want to get everyone’s 2 dollar drawings done and complete sooner or later. – I’ve been thinking about turning “Will Draw” into something a little different… we’ll see.

I’ve done a little live streaming while drawing using Ustream. It actually makes me get more done because I’m less distracted when I have an audience. I may do more of that soon. You can track my twitter account or facebook status for updates on when I’m live. http://twitter.com/djcoffman

LIFE: Life is good. A season of drama has  passed here. We’ve had more drama than I can shake a stick at, and if you know me, that’s a lot of fucking drama. I think both my wife and I have sort of risen above petty behavior around us. We’ve sort of been ignoring the outside world and focusing on our core unit/ family here and it’s great. And with my wife’s new sport (Roller Derby) I’ve seen her shy quiet self sort of melt away into the full on “tell it like it is” Calista, which I TOTALLY LOVE. Because the outside world might not have seen this side to her, but I’ve been married to her for going on 13 years now and I’ve seen that side more than the quiet/shy/reserved side. That’s for sure! Now we have unleashed this animal out into the wild. May god save your souls. She starts her first official “fresh meat” practice tonight. 10 weeks or something of official training before she’s able to take tests to get on the draft team. I have no doubt she’ll rapidly ascend through the ranks. She was built for this.

DnE: I’m changing my diet again and exercise. Trying to walk a mile or two a day on the track, WiiFit– and yesterday I took the drastic step of removing coffee from my diet…. which makes me irritable and cranky. I’ll get over it. I may occassionaly have coffee but I can no longer drink it like it’s my life blood. Basically I’m trying to ween myself off of sugars. Even though I’ve lost 17 pounds this year so far, I feel fat and oafish. People tell me I’m not, but I feel this way so I’m going to keep working until I don’t feel that way anymore.  I appreciate the people who lie to me though! So I’m shifting some of my juggernautic discpline over into this part of my life so I can feel healthier and kick some major ass.

I have some friends that miss a lot of my work and are constantly asking me when i’m going to fire something else up webcomic wise. I’m itching to do it, really… but I feel like I’m waiting for the right time for me. Almost there. In the movie Monsters and Aliens the Insecta-Saurus gets killed (you think) with a shot from an alien craft… but he’s laying there and cocooning around him. Everyone thought he was dead. By the end of the movie he’s now shown up as a big oafish butterfly creature saving the day. That’s what I feel like… a big oafish creature that has been defeated and shot down, and some friends are sad…. but I’m just in my cocoon.

Whatever I’m transforming into though, I do not know. God help us all.

Haven’t blogged in awhile! Here is a MIND DUMP!

I’ve found myself re-evaluating my priorities quite a bit here work wise. While I REALLY enjoy drawing comics and sequential art, which is my joy and passion all these years, I’ve been getting more work in spot illustration and web design and consulting lately and taking it up because it pays a bit better and it’s less of a workload on me as well, allowing me to spend more time with my family and not be chained to a desk all night long pushing deadlines to help other people make more money than you. Thinking about the number of hours I’ve put into projects that were pretty much NON-paying or in the way past, “profit-splits” (which pretty much means NON-paying) I feel like i’ve been going about things the wrong way. Sure I’ve made a living with my skills, but I’ve had no real PLAN. I’m always just flying by the seat of my pants from one job to the next. Although, i feel MUCH more job security that way than relying on working for anyone else on a corporate level. I count myself as very lucky. Every. Single. Day.

I’ve had these urges to jump back into daily comic stripping online, or jump into a great personal project I’ve wanted to do, but I realize the amount of time and dedication it would take and lack of money, and my time is probably better spent filling with paying work or plans that are already in place. This is a little sad to me on one side, but also a relief on the other that I’ve come to terms that some things just aren’t going to work, especially without a REAL plan. So yes, I’m reorganizing my work life a bit here now that I’ve got my personal life in order.

Speaking of personal life… Roller Derby continues to dominate our thoughts and actions here at the homestead. I don’t think we could be more happier actually. It’s like we finally found something we can both agree on 1000 percent. Of course my wife and I have been married for 12 years, and we’ve rarely fought about anything. (bickered occassionally!) We know each other very well… I’ve always had my COMICS COMICS COMICS and stuff going on, and now it feels like she has HER THING. And I’m a fan of the sport in general. I can barely skate at all, and I see these women performing incredible feats of athletism. They make it look EASY, but it totally is not. And it can be dangerous!

Last week at “Old People Night” at our favorite practice rink (old people night is where only like 6 seniors show up to skate in tutus to organ music) my wife fell pretty hard and banged her tailbone and bonked her head. Nope, she wasn’t wearing her helmet like I always tell her too. And with the recent events happening with that actress dying from a brain injury, everyone, especially ME, was scared when she took the fall. She was a little shaken but no concussion. Her butt took the brunt of it, but it’s HELMET HELMET HELMET from now on, even if she is all-skating with the public. She was hauling ass though when she fell. She doesn’t think she could be a Jammer, but I gotta tell you, she was hauling some ass. I’d like to see any girl try to block her if she was coming on through like a steam roller. Her name is officially listed on the “Fresh Meat” team list of the Steel City Derby Demons site and she was giddy, like a kid at Christmas. I’m super proud of her!

But yes. Roller Derby has taken over our lives here and I think it’s totally for the better. I sit around while I’m working on other things and I think how cool it would be to draw a wicked Roller Derby webcomic or science fiction adventure. (yes I already have a killer plot!) -  I think my wife even offered my services to the Steel City Derby Demons if they wanted an official comic done up. With a name like “Demons” it wouldn’t be hard for me to dream up a crazy idea, about the forces of good and evil battling for people’s souls via DERBY ACTION. Or maybe that’s incredibly lame? I don’t know. Imagine SPAWN but on skates messing people up? Ok, that might be one of the raddest concepts ever developed. My business mind wanders… perhaps I can get Todd McFarlane to lend some of his SWEET PILE O’ CASH to sponsor the Derby Demons. — Seriously, I can feel this sport going to NEW places. I’m glad we got in while it’s a counter-culture, before pop-culture gets it’s grubby little fingers into it.

I just hope it never feels like that “Grunge” era. You know, where everyone and their mother was wearing a flannel and i had to put mine away for a spell. – Luckily that hasn’t happened to my beloved Ukulele habit either.

Wipes sweat from brow.

Back to the drawing board! – I’ve been doing more “live drawing” during business hours/weekdays. Subscribe or follow my twitter to be alerted of such. http://twitter.com/djcoffman

I’m still alive! I’ve been busy in REAL LIFE. An update from my neck of the woods.

WORK: Been doing some private commissions to keep the boat afloat here and enjoying time with my wife and family in the “off” hours. I actually have those now. It’s amazing how much of a difference it makes. I am also working slowly but surely on the Flobots comic, and doing a lot of nerdy behind the scenes things web wise for FightWithTools.org (new design!) , AND my brain is in overdrive developing something very interesting and cryptic for the Flobotic team. So much fun that is. And yes, I have completely dropped the ball on “Will Draws” – But I still want to get back to those on a regular updating schedule, but it’s one part “I suck” and the other part “I’m busy and have to focus on paying bills first” sort of thing. I’ve offered to refund anyone’s 2 dollars that’s waiting and can’t stand to wait no more.

TATTOO: My wife calls me up on Friday and asks if I’d like to do something spontaneous for St. Patricks Day. I agree. She says the tattoo shop is having a special on shamrocks… my first thought is, ok, I’ll do it because I’m Irish and this makes sense…. my second thought is, wait a minute! my wife isn’t Irish and she has at times mocked her so-called superior Scottish ancestory! I told her it would be like me getting a tattoo that said “THUG LIFE” on my stomach. We ended up agreeing that she is Irish by marriage (injection) – So over the weekend I set in to figure out where the hell I’d want a shamrock tattoo and even if I really wanted to have it done at all. Then it hit me, that I always said I wanted my first tattoo to be a 13 on the back of my neck,  why not mix the two? So, with the help of the tattoo artist that’s what I ended up with today. See, because it’s my lucky number, and shamrocks are good luck and…. well, it goes together like peanut butter and jelly.

On April 8th we already had an appointment for “love tiki” tattoos. (Yes, TIKI from Yirmumah! HA!) That was supposed to be my “first” tattoo, but spontaneous is as spontaneous does.

Here’s the thing about tattoos. I guess I always thought they’d hurt much more than it did. Actually, I was kinda chuckling because it kind of tickled in a weird way, at least for me. The only pain involved was akin to the feeling of your hairs being ripped off by duct tape, but actually this wasn’t as bad as that either because it’s a steady sting. Just feels like a minor sunburn on my neck is all. Photo on my Facebook… I think my nervousness about possible learning to tattoo other people is about over too. Maybe I’ll pick that up as a hobby in the coming year or three.

WIFE: My wife is off at DERBY orientation. She’s so happy and stoked. I love seeing her happy and stoked. I think she’s found what she was meant to do, and that makes me incredibly happy. Especially to be witnessing it. And yes, I am well aware that I am “THAT GUY” – I’m a big oafish dorky looking dude with a hot wife on roller skates.

HUBSTER- My wife has also been calling me “hubster” on her facebook statuses, which at first was weird, and then seemed endearing. It’s kinda like a chubbier version of  “hulkster”- She noticed that a few of her “friends” have recently started saying “hubster” as well when referring to their men, and this irritated her slightly and she called me “hubba bubba” today. I can’t have anything with the word “BUBBA” in it referring to me. Just for the record, thanks.

THE SICKENING- I’ve seen two “Sarah Palin” esque bumper stickers for a 2012 campaign that put a sick feeling in my stomach. The first one just said “PALIN 2012″ the other one was the 2012 with lipstick for the “1″ – Oh you clever republicans! Know that I am mocking you in the vehicle behind you. Actually, you know what, BRING IT! Palin trying to run against Obama in 2012 would guarantee an Obama win. She’s a JOKE and a WHACK JOB. There. I said it. I feel much better.

That’s all from me, INTERNETZ. Back to the drawing board…

On Sunday my wife officially became a Steel City Derby Demon after passing the tryouts. She is now part of the “Fresh Meat” group. I don’t think she could stop smiling all the way home, I told her her cheeks were going to hurt in the morning. I feel so good about this, because she’s had a tough couple of year and it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen her lit up in true happiness. The truth is, what she needed no person on the earth could have given to her, she had to give it herself and she has.

So now she begins the process of official training and preperation to be moved onto an official team. This isn’t a rag-tag hobby, these women take this sport very seriously and they want their skaters to be the best, so like a 10 or 12 week process of training for the meaties goes into effect, from what I understand. And my wife takes this stuff very seriously. On a day she could have taken off to celebrate and unwind, we were back out at the rink last night until 10pm. She has CRAZY endurance. I think in the 3 hours we were there she only stopped to catch her breathe and sit down twice, the rest of the time it was non-stop speed. And she seemed to be skating different to me too, with even more confidence… probably because she’s a goddamn OFFICIAL now!

I am now also an official “Derby Widow” I suppose. That’s the name given to husband’s of derby gals, after derby sort of takes over their lives. But hey, it’s not so bad! My wife has had to put up with being a “comic widow” for quite some time.

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Speaking of comics… I heard John Carbonaro passed away. He was the keeper of the THUNDER Agents comic property which was created by Wally Wood (one of my heroes) decades ago. I had always heard tales of how much of a stickler he was for licensing and keeping the property true to some vision he had for it, and nothing really ever came of it it seems. I know in 2007 I was approached to do a relaunch of T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents at Pittsburgh comicon, to which I was pretty ecstatic. Whatever classical sensibilities I was instilling in Hero By Night had caught the eye of the keepers and I was asked to write up a treatment or pitch, and I did. I never really heard back much about it, some odd back and forth emails… but it was something I was alway interested in. John was in some bad health at the time and I imagined that working on comic stuff was last on the priority list. I’m sad that it never worked out and I never got a chance to meet the guy in person.  I always asked myself, I wonder what Wally would have wanted? The plot I came up with was so friggin good I just decided to adapt it into a future HBN story (which will never be seen now, thanks Platinum!) — Anywho, rest in peace Mr. Carbonaro! Maybe now you’re in a place where you can pull some serious strings to make big things happen for THUNDER. I could foresee something like that coming along in movie or book form and sort or remaking what the darker Watchmen  era had deconstructed to a darkened core.